Blog # 7 Reading Response

I am commenting on the Remix reading, the four assumptions about love and romance, and the David Sedaris article. Catherine Latterell breaks down the assumptions that love conquers all, that chemistry equals love, that true lovers will be soul mates, and that love is forever. She uses some examples from culture to explain that these assumptions can be just like the fairy tales that highlight the assumptions, not quite true in the real world.
In my experience with my wife Rebecca, we are still in love, still dealing with our two children and daddy's unemployment and anger management recovery, but a more accurate mantra for us would be, "compromise conquers all". When that is in place the peace and sanity comes to deal with whatever life throws at us and gives me (an extreme type A driven type) the patience to respond to the Queen of "stop and smell the roses".
Chemistry equals love, we all assume. Well, high blood pressure medication, and Paxil are controlling my "chemistry", thank you very much. ADD has wreaked havoc in our home and while we are hesitant to medicate that, we both have an understanding that certain things just are not going to get done when we want them to.
Rebecca is my soul mate. When we were dating we talked about anything and everything, laying out our lives together, planning our future. Seven months into our marriage, we both lost our jobs, got pregnant, bought a house, almost lost it, then I had a mid life crisis and now we are putting the pieces together. Getting both kids to sleep by 10 and watching a movie is a good day in our marriage! She has a major complaint that we just don't talk like we used to. And part of me grieves, while the other nagging part says, “get real”.
True love is forever, Latterell claims, is the last assumption. I say that what lasts forever is what is cared for, strengthened, cherished and adored. What lasts forever is the resolve to keep going when life throws Hell at you, your kids poop all over the rug, you're not sure how to make your house payment, but somewhere in your day you remember the woman you married is the same woman who is staring at you now, wondering when you are going to pull your head out of your behind and get on with life; let go of all the crap that was done to you and just BE HAPPY. If you wake up each day and at least want to try, what you have is forever.

I loved how David Sedaris commented on the normal things that happen in a relationship. I mean, how exciting would it be if Disney made Cinderella 2 and the highlight of the movie was potty training Junior Charming? Or if in all the romantic comedies you see, if the sequel contained the starlet gaining weight when their children were born or someone like Matthew Mcconaughey going to an AA meeting, then meeting with his pastor or somebody and then sitting down and crying, feeling like he just might have the strength to keep on living? But these are the things that can strengthen and enhance love, and at the same time can tear love apart.