My Picks for the NFL Season - Week 2

Now you will be sure to ask, Jim, don't you mean week 3? That's the one that's playing tomorrow. And I will say "no". Because this is my long dreamed of and finally typed out, Picks for the Week After they have played. Everybody predicts before and they're almost always half wrong, check it out. As James T Kirk is so fond of saying, "I don't like to lose!" And neither do I. But I plan to be fair. So here goes:

BEARS @ PACKERS, my pick, the Packers of course!
A boring defensive team who rants and raves about its exploits in the 80 as if they were the beloved Niners, 4 superbowls to 1, versus the offensively exciting and recent Lombardi winner the Packers? Where many of those receivers caught passes from (wait for it, and bow your heads) Brett Favre?
OK, so I was taking an online course, bettering my life, and every night at a certain time, I get a 15 minute break. It just so happened that my break coincided with the sexiest play I have seen in a long time. OK, since Tom Brady's last TD pass. 4th and long and they lined up for a FG, and I though, before it happened, I would just go for it. Well, they did. Game Over.
score 1-0

BUCCANEERS AT GIANTS, my pick...
This is where it gets tricky. I will have wanted to say that I picked the Giants, after their stinkfest against the Cowboys. But the Cowboys lost to Seattle, badly. So maybe I though the Giants would have a Super Bowl Hangover and Tampa would come in and win one. And since they almost did...
OK, my pick was the Buccaneers. And then there was that whole final play nonsense. And the logic seemed right. Maybe. Then there was that Tom Coughlin lecturing at the coach of the team who lost... yeah whatever, next...
score 1-1

RAIDERS @ DOLPHINS, my pick, The Raiders, just because they probably should be doing something besides sucking. Especially playing the suckiest team in recent memory. But they lost. And maybe something else happened. I don't really care.
score 1-2, see I am being honest

TEXANS @ JAGUARS, my pick, Texans
They're good, the QB is good, the defense is good, blah blah blah
score 2-2

The Ohio teams - whatever... I've been to Ohio, I had an Army buddy and we used to go to his house in Akron. We'd drive through heavenly Western Virginia and up the Cuyahoga something, way to go. But foot ball? And then he got out and joined some weird cult and I never heard from him again. OK, I tried to call a couple time but it was weird. I miss you Eric.
score 2-2

CHIEFS @ BILLS, my pick, home team? Sound fair? These tow haven't dome anything since 1992, when Joe Montana, may he live forever, was playing in the AFC Championship game. And the a$$hole Bills beat him, then lost to that stupid team who stole 2 Super Bowls from my beloved Niners.
score 3-2

THE TEAM WE DO NOT SPEAK OF @ THE ONE WITH THE DOG KILLER, my pick, home team here again, I guess. I actually watched part of it. I think I remember Cheerleaders... and beer. But no football to speak of. Which translates to, nothing exciting.
score 4-2

SAINTS AT PANTHERS, my pick, would NO right the ship? And prove that they are still the team that almost beat the Niners, who almost beat the Giants? Or would that team who has that guy who beat the ducks pull one out? I decided i would have went with NO. So I lost.
score 4-3

CARDINALS @ THE TEAM TOM BRADY PLAYS QB FOR, my pick... please. need you really ask? This one wasn't on the TV, so I followed online, thinking, OK, any moment they will realize it's Sunday, this is a real game. So I guess there was a fumble, and then a FG attempt. OK, they'll win. And that beautiful man will say pithy and truthful things from his soul. His bright eyes shining and his hair billowing in the wind of the press room.
no such luck.... and I join the fans in Foxboro with a loud boo.
score 4-4

VIKINGS @ COLTS, my pick, home team here. And I guess Luck did not suck.
score 5-4

REDSKINS @ RAMS, my pick, I would have wanted to pick the team who won. Because this one could have gone a number of ways. 2 first round QBs with something to prove. So it came down to one team doing something stupid at the end and the other team losing. Being a Favre fan, I know how this feels. And really, it's all about him, isn't it? He hold all the records. No one will ever get there.
score 5-5, not because I picked the loser but just because.... oh, who cares?

COWBOYS @ SEAHAWKS, my pick, Cowboys. yep. Going against the home team because they gave those Giants a whooping last week and Seattle lost to lowly Arizona. And way to go, Arizona defense! Come up with a stop in that game but then NOT do it when Kurt Warner had just bested the Mighty Steelers in the Super Bowl, the one where Bruce Springsteen played. Also the one I almost went to by myself. I had just gotten my tax return and found tickets, supposedly, online, and a flight. I knew hotels were booked but it was Tampa and warm weather. I could just rent a car, in theory, and sleep there. Plus Warren Sapp had just gotten arrested for domestic violence and spent the night in jail, there was always his room.....
Anyway, the Hawks pulled it out, rather convincingly. And I am seriously debating going up there in November when the team Tom Brady plays for will be there. I'll want to be cool, stalking him of course, but just to approach him and say, Hey Tom, good game. (He will have won, of course) And I'll ask him for his autograph, casually, and I'll have something with me. Some piece of paper. And I will post it on Facebook and feel cool for a week.
score 5-6, thanks alot Tony Romo

JETS @ STEELERS, my pick - this is one of those weird ones where I have been a Steeler fan since the 70s, always root for them, except when they played that team Kurt Warner was on in the Super Bowl, and then I rooted for the Packers, but if the Steelers had won... maybe I would just think they are too much, like that recent U2 album and tour that was popular, but i didn't really follow it. But before picking the Jets, I would have wanted to know if Tebow had come in and done something spectacular. He didn't. I watched most of this, but went to make lunch and came back and saw him in the game, doing nothing at all. So, Steelers on this one.
score 6-6

TITANS @ CHARGERS, my pick, home team.
every once in while there is that distant game in a distant land. They aren't on TV and they show if someone has scored when they do. But the uniforms don't look right. And it doesn't look real. San Diego was not wearing what I remember them wearing when my beloved Niners and Steve Young ran all over them for their 5th Super Bowl. So it was weird. And the Titans haven't seemed right since Steve McNair anyway. Come on... Kerry Collins? And then taking Matt Hasselbeck's job away? Who are the Chargers? Are they real? Can they win? They have good people. And they can make the playoffs. Just a weird situation.
score 7-6

LIONS @ 49ERS, my pick, gee, I wonder who? Although it would have been fun to have picked the Lions and then have Matthew Stafford pick them apart and assume the role of an elite QB... but he looks funny. His face is too fat and he doesn't have the je ne sais que that Manning and Brady and Rogers have. It was a fun game to watch. The Niners remind me of a story I read as a kid about the Phoenix bird. He was friends with this boy and then, as they do, the bird kills itself in a fire and then comes back. It's still the Phoenix, but it's new and different. And so it is with this Niners team. They look right, just like Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, John Taylor, Dwight Clark, Bryant Young and Ricky Watters used to look. But they are different. Good, scary good. And maybe the fire was Mike Singletary. They had to go through it to get to the other side. No pain no gain.
score 8-6

BRONCOS @ FALCONS, my pick - Manning of course. It's all about him isn't it? How in the world was he going to come down to Georgia and lose, after shredding the Steelers. But, by the way, what is the difference between Manning doing it last week and Tebow doing it at home in the playoffs? Beating the damn Steelers, and lighting up the stadium in one of the most dramatic and memorable moments in the playoffs.... winning, right? But let's get this old geezer who was good once, a 2 time MVP, (and don't correct me and say that it is 4 because the first one he shared with Steve McNair and the last one he stole from Kurt Warner. MVP means the whole season. Not the season where you put up numbers and then go to San Diego and lose) where was I?
Right, trading Tebow for Manning, in spite of the stern warnings of a mighty Spiting from Pat Robertson.
So was this the beginning? Manning loses? 3 picks? I'm still trying to work out the Divine Plan for Pittsburgh losing.... maybe it wa to make them stronger and to make Manning proud. And pride goes before a fall....
score 8-7

So, even making picks after the games I still came up 8-7. So this is no fluke thing. See you next week.